I had a marvelous birthday. I received dozens and dozens of birthday wishes and messages and all. My Daughter made my favorite dinner (I just could not bring myself to go out)-and then we had oreo cookie ice cream cake——absolutely delicious. People truly made my day absolutely perfect. The one thing that topped it all – that made me feel like a million bucks was my grandchildren calling me—all I could do is cry – it just touched my heart so much that they called and wished me a happy birthday….it was the best present.
A few things have happened since my doctor appointment – I am slowly getting used to being on oxygen 24/7 – but the last two days have been rough—I seem to be back to being severely out of breath before starting oxygen all day and new meds… I am going to have to be diligent and remember I need at least 3 breathing treatments a day…. it takes a lot to set up just for one treatment every time but I am running out of options. It is a horrifying feeling not being able to take another breath. It really does scare me to no end which only sets off my panic attacks—each time I walk somewhere in the house it take me at least an hour to recover after I get breathing better – this is so not how to live a life.
There are days that I am so tired of fighting it all – there are days I just want to lay down and that is it….. it is so hard to keep fighting – and now that things have taken a turn for the worse – just makes me think that all the fighting up to this point has been for nothing.
Well – truly that is enough for now – I am just making myself more depressed!! PEACE!
BrUtTaLlY InSaNe 